Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Another beer with someone from history! (God)

Graham has got a standing challenge/invitation on his blog for people to tell about their beer with someone from history. Recently an opportunity has opened up that I will not miss, come heaven or hell! A US senator has filed a lawsuit against God, accusing him/her of neglecting his/her duties and not responding to his complaints (through prayers I assume!). Although the lawsuit itself may imply otherwise, I expect God to be a person/deity of honor and attend the trial, not only in his/her omnipresent ways but actually show a true physical presence!

God will of course be very busy when he/she arrives on such a rare visit, and I realize it will be hard to actually get an appointment. However, I will pray in advance for it to happen, and even hang around the bars, restaurants, churches and temples around the court and hope for and opportunity. I will then offer God a superb South African Meerlust Rubicon and trick him/her into believing it is altar wine, LOL! Nah - that would be a lie, and probably a bad start. I would be honest and give him/her carte blanche but recommend the Meerlust, and God would not resist my proposal!

Actually, I would make sure I had that beer with Adam & Eve before meeting God! Then I would be able to see God in a different light, and from some of his/her direct creation’s viewpoint. It would be like watching “Gandhi – My father” before knowing anything about Gandhi in the first place. My hypothesis is that God cared dearly for his/her children and grand children, but that God lost interest because generations and time wise, we are too far removed from God to care any more. We have also multiplied so rapidly that he/she can’t keep track any more. Hopefully, I can discard my hypothesis, but I truly believe that a beer with Adam & Eve in advance will shed some light on this!

Then me, God and the Meerlust! After a couple of bottles we should be talkative and friendly enough to share a few secrets. I will not bother him/her too much about the trial’s proceedings, as I expect that to be a rather touchy theme! However, I want to question God about the big bang contra his/her own creation of Adam & Eve… and what God thinks about Charles Darwin?! Then I will want to know which religious faction that tunes into his/her frequency?! If it’s the Catholic Church, I will make a confession right there and then. I will look him/her deep into the eyes and demand an explanation to why God let that thief into my house recently! With a satisfactory answer I will then confess all my dark and sinful thoughts concerning that thief and set my record straight – clean sheets! If God belong to a faction I’m not fully familiar with, I will at least find out what vanities we’re allowed!

Before we get too sloshed and unserious, I will apply for an apostle position. If God, with time, could also teach me to walk on water and give me some healing abilities that would be awesome.

With blue teeth and loads of alcohol on board we will probably pick up a ferocious appetite, human or God the same! I will take God to a nearby restaurant and find out which ones of his/her creations he/she will give consent to eat, and whether God is an omnivore, carnivore or strictly vegetarian?! If carnivore, then what about cows and pigs??

Before going separate ways, I will ask if God could grant me just one night’s sleep on cloud #9, and find out if it’s really as soft and heavenly as it sounds!

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