Friday, February 8, 2008

Blue eyed studs!

I’m a mutant! I read it in an article, and scientifically explained in the journal Human Genetics. My blue eyes came about through a mutation about 6-10.000 years ago. I can be classified and grouped safely together with The Teenage Ninja Turtles. The name mutant gives me the notion that I could be in the company of a lot of freaks with extra limbs and other unfortunate mutations out there, but is it really that bad? It did not give me any powers like Spiderman that I’ve discovered so far

Before this mutation took place, everybody had brown eyes apparently. Blue eyes appeared due to a genetic switch that turned down the amount of melanin in the iris. A complete Eskom switch off would have turned us into albinos. Nature stopped the process before it went that far, thank God… or evolution! Today apparently blue eyed people make up a good percentage of the European population. Even in an evolutionary time frame, there has been an explosion of blue eyes in Europe. The question arises; “How can this be?”

Hawk gives me a very satisfactory answer! “This gene does something good for people. It makes them have more kids!” Ok, we’re not making Australian rabbit like explosion with billions of people like in China and India. We don’t need 12 kids for disciples or pension aid. No doubt though, when we set our mind to it and hit the sack, more blue eyes will pop up! We’re the human studs – incredibly reproductive! Our sperm can outrun any competitor’s donations. So if you’re a woman struggling in this department, find yourself a blue eyed stud and consider the matter solved! I take it that Hawk is a member of the scientific crew, so there can be no doubt!

The Human Genetics article never gave any explanation as to what caused this mutation though. The second monkey theory should help explain it once and for all! As opposed to the African monkey which lived in abundance, the Stensby voortrekkers ended up in the much scarcer northern Africa and Middle East before getting to the tip of the Ice berg, Norway. The Old Norwegian tradition of taking surnames after the place of birth should be evidence enough. Stensby = stone + town, as between a rock and a hard place and very scarce. Obviously we were pushed, and had to develop more rapidly in order to survive. The good mutational conditions in Europe along with the genetic gearing resulted in us blue eyed studs! I don't know many blue eyed people with red hair, which means that we steered clear of the Neanderthals, which in turn means we're not overly kinky weirdoes either. Darwin would have put us on a pedestal if he knew, and I suspect that Hitler was on the brink of this discovery although in a different context!

4 comments:

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Anonymous said...

I highly doubt that blue eyed humans had super sperm. Successful transmission of this gene probably had more to do with sexual selection. That is, mates with blue eyes were more desired. This brown eyed American is currently looking for a blue-eyed man to impregnate her. I googled "human studs with blue eyes" and your article popped up. Not exactly what I was looking for, but a fun read nevertheless.

Slavedude275 said...

Haha... I can live with "sexual selection" :-) Sorry I can't help you there darling, but hope you find your blue eyed stud!