Shaka Zulu, Holy Olav, Caesar… and Bob???

When Øyvind was here and we were down in KZN (KwaZulu Natal) I was giving him some of my own knowledge about the Zulu history. When Shaka Zulu came up in conversation I recall comparing him with Harald Hårfagre. Harald Hårfagre gathered the whole of Norway under the rule of one king. He traveled the country and recruited the chiefs around and fought the ones that resisted. Pretty much the same as Shaka Zulu did as far as I’ve heard.

Shaka was very persuasive in his recruitment… join me or die. I guess it’s the only way to do it… When Holy Olav (another great Norwegian Viking king, Olav den Hellige) came home to Norway after a raid… and a crusade, he was a converted Christian. Very excited about his new belief, he now wanted the whole of Norway to convert as well. It was very easy! Olav traveled around the country and gave the heathens two options. Convert or lose your head. Soon the whole of Norway was fanatic Christians. “God” had conquered Norway and replaced Thor with the hammer and all the other gods in the trees and rocks. I don’t know how big a role religious beliefs or spiritual stuff influenced Shakas cruelties though. Maybe his personal Sangoma made him take out a competing Sangomas tribe or something like that. In a case of hard resistance I’m sure Shaka had some gutting to do after the preceding stabbing and killing. Beautiful Killing!

I have to get my Norwegian history straight here, coz I’m mixing and confusing the kings here… although I know quite a few were taken out by some close and trusted people. Shaka Zulu was so hard against his own people that he turned some of them away and against himself. His half brother killed him in a big plot. Pretty much like Caesar: “… you my son Brutus”! It’s like copy and paste, same story all over the place, wherever you turn!

I’m looking at a map of KwaZulu Natal here, showing all the known mission stations in the area. Amazingly there were quite a few Norwegian mission stations in the heart of Zululand… in the area in and around Hluhluwe where Øyvind and I were driving around. Maybe these were descendants from Holy Olavs disciples? And not maybe, but quite likely they had a discussion with Shaka over a clay pot of local beer… giving Shaka insight in the successful Viking way. Wow, I’m overwhelmed with my own facts and findings here! And people say the world is small today…?!

If the world really did “shrink” a lot since then… and my “copy-paste theory” still applies, then Bobs (Robert Mugabe’s) relatives are terribly overdue in this end of the world! Maybe there is light in the end of the tunnel after all… coz Tsvangirai sure didn’t convert to Mugabeism and he is not decapitated yet! Maybe ignoring history will be his end?!

Stricken again…

Safari is hot! Damn hot!! You can pay big bucks for some comforting and charming chalets… but when you go out and want to see the animals… then you can forget about comfort. You can come straight out of the shower, but before you go around the first bend you feel sticky again.

Venturing into the jungle you think of Stanley and Livingstone and the pioneers that first set their foot in these areas. Unshaven for days I feel I could be pals with the guys and member of a very exclusive club. It’s a dirty, sticky and smelly club. Nothing can glorify it and its nothing for women. This is for real men! Driving on tarred roads though, you feel happy you don’t have to cut your way through the thicket with a machete. I’m satisfied with tracing their tarred footsteps…

Last week when we were driving around in Hluhluwe it was very hot. This is also in the coastal region, so you got the humidity factor on top of it. When you multiply the two and then again with 1000 and subtract the sunscreen factor (Formula: (temperature x humidity x 1000) – sunscreen factor), you find the net discomfort factor! The aircon is of course running full speed… but with the windows open it doesn’t even say hello! As we were battling with the heat and trying to enjoy a herd of elephants I suddenly got hooked up in the fact that something was missing in front of the car. I was filming across the front and thought to myself… shouldn’t that proud star on my Mercedes be in the way now? Never mind the elephants. It’s gone!! F***ing bastards… someone ripped the star off my car! Oyvind was very quiet… for a long time whilst I kept swearing over my molested vehicle. Then, after an hour or so I realized that I’m in KwaZulu Natal… with Oyvind… and we hired a Toyota Tazz at the airport. The Merc was still safe up in Joburg with the star intact, and Oyvind laughing his guts out. I could have a good night’s sleep now. Not so bad… never been interested in cars to the same extent as many other guys, and it meant f**k all to me to have that star in front. So why I suddenly so focused on it?!

Today in Kruger it was also damn hot. Not so humid, but just stinking hot. We woke up in the morning and saw an elephant across the river. We saw it eating and working its way slowly upriver. When we returned for lunch after a gamedrive, the elephant was level with the restaurant and we watched it coming across the river, splashing water with the trunk and then mud. This is normal practice for everybody in malaria infested areas… against the bugs… but also sunprotection! I’m sure we shot a gigabyte of pictures, as it came closer and closer. I started filming with the videocamera and was completely engrossed with the situation. Then, as I looked at the camera I thought to myself. Something is missing here… where is the f***ing battery? I started looking for it on the sundeck… then over the railing and into the abyss down towards the river. No battery in sight. Oyvind also looking now, both desperate, coz both knew there would be plenty of more stuff to put on film. One more look at the camera I could see that the LCD screen was still running..? How could that be without battery?! A closer look revealed that it was actually the open space for the LCD screen to fold in and close. The revelation was followed with silence, utter embarrassment and the laughter from Oyvind.

In retrospect it is quite clear to me what happened. At least it is one out of two possible scenarios. One - that I was “stricken” by the sun or the heat… or both. Sunstroke or heatstroke… or whatever you call it stricken. Being a Viking from the cold north only increases the likeliness of such a stroke. The second one is malaria… and that I was in a state of delirium during these two incidents. Early stage, I’ll give you that, but Oyvind will probably agree who has put up with me for the last 2-3weeks. Both very possible and likely… considering that I’m following Stanley and Livingstones footsteps… and knowing what those guys had to deal with. I had it coming, for sure.

Hluhluwe backpackers

Hluhluwe Backpackers is run by David and Tina Davies. David is a boer guy and Tina is from Germany. Both of them do game drives in Hluhluwe and Umfolozi and are very passionate about their work. For three years now they have run the place, situated very nicely in the heart of Zululand and at the very doorstep of the game reserve.

David used to be a manager for another lodge in the area, but he was playing with the thought of having his own place. Every day he used to drive past this house, but back then it was only walls, and no roof. After some research he found out that it was the local Zulu chief that owned the property. David paid the chief a visit and brought a bottle of whiskey to start the negotiations. They made an agreement, and David could start building his own backpackers as he had dreamt about.

The walls inside the house were completely covered with anthills, so the first thing they had to do was clean the place out properly. They hired some Zulu guys for R10 per day (probably subsidised by the Zulu chief) and got the job done. Then they built the place up and created the charming atmosphere you experience there today. But before they could open up, the chief and the local Sangoma (witchdoctor) had to hold a ceremony and bless the place. Hluhluwe Backpackers is therefore today holy ground for the Zulus. No Zulu will dare to enter that property, and it is probably one of the safest places to be in the whole of Zululand, maybe South Africa.

Safari, Hluhluwe and Umfolozi, March 8-9th

Coming back from Mozambique we found accommodation as close to the park as possible. That way we could be at the gate when they opened up at six o’clock in the morning. The first day we saw some giraffes and some rhinos and lots of Impalas. We drove past a place where lions had been spotted, but the grass was just too bloody high for us to see anything. It was generally a good game-drive, and we got a feeling for some good spots in the park, but yet we didn’t have a really close encounter with any of the big guys. Until, right at the end when we were speeding like crazy to get to the gate, knowing that we were already too late. Then, suddenly two big rhinos decided to block the road very effectively. The female looked really nervous and agitated, running back and forth and throwing the head… and the horn around. I got the picture in my head of a matador pierced by the bull in the arenas in Spain… then we backed the car, thinking that we were the reason for this behaviour. Suddenly as we were sitting there looking and waiting for an opening I was aware of something in the side of my vision. A hyena was standing next to the car, only two metres away from me. It was looking at me, then the rhinos… walked a bit and all the time checking out the situation. Obviously this was the culprit, causing the distress. Just by the look of it I could feel the hair in the back of my neck was rising and we wound up the window… just enough so that the jaws of the beast couldn’t fit through the opening. With the powerful body and the dark big eyes it looked like pure evil… Even though it was a fraction of the size of the rhinos… I had no problem understanding the rhinos. Eventually we got out, and we had spent the entire day only in the Hluhluwe part. We had already decided we needed another day to cover Umfolozi as well.

The next morning we decided to just check out some of our favourite and most promising spots in Hluhluwe before we were gonna shoot down to Umfolozi. It turned out that we saw a hell of a lot of elephants, rhinos and water-buffalos in one place that we got so hooked up that we were still there at lunchtime… and far away from Umfolozi.

As we were driving towards the southern part of Hluhluwe the vegetation got less lush and more dry and open. We found it easier to spot the antelopes and the buck… hundreds all over the place… but we had the feeling that the really big guys preferred the thick bush where they could hide away. Further along, that theory had to be dumped when we saw herds of giraffes, rhinos and buffalos. Again we got hooked up and had to prioritize the really big ones only… in order to make it out before closing time. Still there was plenty of areas we did not cover in Umfolozi, and we could easily have spent one or two extra days there.

All in all, we saw masses of animals… but still not that feeling from other smaller parks that the park was so small that the animals were pretty much lined up for you. This was proper wilderness… and I’m sure for Oyvind it was a bit different from Elk-safari in Løten at home in Norway.

Punctuality, planning and closing gates, March 8th

Just a reflection. On the way from Durban to Ponta Do Ouro, we drove through Hluhluwe for a game-drive. We knew we had to be on the border at 15:00, for transfer… but missed it with 45minutes. Coming back to Hluhluwe, we also missed the closing of the gate with half an hour. The gate opens and closes at six o’clock. 12 hours we had, and still couldn’t make it. This was the northern gate (Memorial Gate), manned with quite a few people, and thank god some people there to open the gates for us. Today we had a beautiful plan. The two days we spent in the park before was only in the Hluhluwe part, which is only one half of the area. So today, we planned to just drop by a couple of “good spots” in Hluhluwe, and then head down to the southern Imfolozi part. We ended up spending far more time in “our spots” than intended, coz we saw a hell of a lot of Elephants, Rhinos and Buffalos. By the time we made it to Imfolozi we also realized it was a hell of a big area to cover in only half a day. To leave out a part was of course not an option, so we went on a speedy hazardous drive through the park… only stopping for the big guys, or blocking the road and such.. The fact that the park has got a gate on the southern side made it possible for us to conveniently drop the speed by 10km an hour. Still, when we reached the Cengeni Gate, it was 18:03. Three minutes past closing. Now this was no big gate, looking like a small headquarter or something, not at all! A plain prisonlike gate with chains and two heavy locks, and no people to see! This time I really thought we had to spend the night inside the park with lions and hyenas. We were shouting and screaming and hooting, and finally a black guy appeared from a small shack in the bush. “You are very late”, he said, and put on his gravest facial expression. As he locked the gate behind us I was instantly thinking… where the hell does this road go now???? The map gave the ruthless answer: through every little zulu village and all the small roads where you don’t want to be after sunset… And since we were staying at the opposite side of the park, we had to drive all the way around. 270km in total! Hell, that was a long drive through the black black black South Africa!!

Inspired now, since we were driving through the heart of Zululand, I had to pour out some of my knowledge about the Zulu culture for Oyvind. Among other things about the Zulu’s respect for great warriors and their custom to slit the great warrior’s tummy open as a respectful and honourable gesture. Oyvind wasn’t too impressed or happy… and all doors in the car were quickly closed from the inside.