Tuesday, April 15, 2008

What defines you?

Does your work define you as a person?! Just like your parents, your upbringing, your country and local community. They are influences and tell a story about you as a person. Work is not an insignificant influence, am I right? You put down at least 1/3 of your day doing whatever you do, striving to get good at it, going from junior to senior, up the hierarchy and get sculpted more and more!

The worrying thing is that people take the choice of work a bit too lightly. I am wondering if I have fallen into this trap myself actually. This job you choose is going to change people’s perception of you forever. You should actually do a thorough analysis of each company. What would you be involved in and what core values does this company represent… history maybe, and the name that defines this company and will no doubt rub off on you! This is a “growing” concern for me these days… Browsing through some Egyptian mythology the other day I was intrigued to find a god by the same name as the company I work for – Osiris!Osiris is also called Orion the Hunter in Greek mythology and Herne the Hunter in Norse mythology and he was a great warrior! The gods walked among humans at this stage, and the reign of Osiris was a “golden age”! So far so good and I’m overjoyed and no worries at all! The name though is also connected with insemination. Orion, derived from “ourien” meaning semen, and the belt of Orion is a euphemism. In ancient times this was a penis that became erect as the year progressed. That’s a shame and a serious dysfunction. A whole year to get it up?! Seriously, you don’t want this kind of stuff to rub off on you, whether you live in the times of Viagra or not!! Must I hand in my resignation now, or should I stick it out and resort to Viagra if worst comes to worst?

Seth, the envoy of Satan, made a cedar chest (coffin) inlaid with gold, silver, ivory and lapis lazuli. Whoever fitted the chest best, could take it away! Like Cinderella, Osiris won the prize! As soon as Osiris had lied down, Seth slammed the lid on and sealed the chest. It was thrown into the Nile and washed ashore in Syria. A tree grew up and wrapped and enclosed the chest completely. Famous for its splendor it was chopped down and made into a pillar in the Syrian King’s palace. Osiris’s wife, Isis managed to locate and free him, but Seth attacked again!

This time Seth wanted to make sure that he did the job properly. He hacked Osiris to pieces, 14 in total, and spread them far apart geographically so that he could not be made whole again! Isis though as the devoted wife retrieved the pieces, puzzled him together and wrapped him up with bandages so that he could heal. This was the “first mummy”! There was just one small catch! She had found all the pieces except one – the penis! Isis, who no doubt wanted a fully functioning husband back made a golden penis and attached it to his body. I imagine this to be history’s first dildo! Dealing with clients and business associates now… do they see Jonny or do they see a mummy with a golden dildo shining through??

Isis was unable to bring Osiris fully back to life… other than sexually! With a lot of TLC she managed to work him up and make him ejaculate. So Horus was born, the new Master of the Universe! Horus killed Seth to avenge his father, whilst Osiris lived in the Underworld as its King of the Dead. No doubt there are many facets to Osiris, some desirable and some not so desirable! Can you choose or in any way influence what rubs off on you? This is crucial to me given Osiris’s history. I need advice on this… so I will keep my resignation unsigned in the drawer for now!

BTW! My gmail is getting spammed recently with “increase your size” e-mails despite the fact that I have not surfed anything remotely associated?! Is it Osiris?


Joanne Rasmussen said...

I get those emails too! bloody irritating. I just blame my sons.

Anonymous said...

I think you work is a facet of what defines you...but certainly not the name of the company you work for.

Thanks for the information about you size and abilities. Most attractive qualities in a man!

beaverboosh said...

Dude, Great piece! I don't know what you should do about your resignation, it is too early in the morning for me to be reading about ejaculation and I am getting excited.

Jonny said...

Anonymous! I don't know how big Osiris' golden dick was... and to what extent it has rubbed off on me yet. Maybe there will be a follow up report on this... but for now I'll keep the size and abilities of the norwegian wood a well kept secret!

Beaver! I should have been more considerate than to post this so early in the morning... but then there will allways be another morning, and then another... same old problem every morning! There is really just one way to get over it!

The resignation is held back for now btw!

A 2 Z said...


Finally my computer is back working. I think what defines a man is his family and not how much prestige and money he makes at work. That comes and goes. Family will always be part of you. That's my 2 cents worth. Anyhow, I lived in SA 10 years and was given everything under the sun: free housing, cars, maid, gardener, etc... But there was the fear and the worry about crime or that my kids would be damaged by the whole climate of violence in SA. We finally did give up on the whole deal and I have never looked back. It took my kids a whole year before they felt safe again. At first they did not want to go out to play in the street with other kids or go on their bikes to go to the park. They still had trouble sleeping. They still after 10 years have flashbacks of fear espcially at night. Maybe it will never go away. If you go on http://johnjollyjack.blogspot.com you will see and interesting Carte Blanche video on children and violence in the new SA. Tell me what you think about it. Cheers.

duarte said...

your blog is very good.....congratulations

RennyBA said...

Now you got me. You see I'm working at the Norwegian Computer Society and that tells it all I think :lol:

Anonymous said...

Here in SA we don't choose our work. We work for months at sending cv's etc and when a company makes an offer, we grab it.
Too much emphasis is placed on the rubbish, like who you work for, what car you drive, etc.
Any job that pays the bills and gives me maximum time for my family gets my vote.
Reminds me of the macdonalds job application, where they ask the applicant if they are capable of lifting 25 pounds .... OF WHAT is the most astute reply ;-)

Anonymous said...

Abraxas: You go boy... a man after my own heart...a job where you earn the money but get max time with the family. Are there any others like you out there? :-)

Anonymous said...

A2Z: I have visited these blogs you refer to, ie. SAS and John the Jolly Jack and must say that I find the content disturbing to say the least. These blogs contain only hate, how can you want to even associate with them?
The fact that Jonny's blog is also on your reading list is mildly disturbing. I don't see that type of hate here thankfully!

Jonny: Have you read the blogs A2Z refers you to? If not I suggest that you do so before they are outlawed...it will also paint a very good picture of what human beings really are capable of!


Jonny said...

I have not visited the blogs in question! This blog was meant to be lighthearted. Although I have drawn in some political stuff and personal frustrations, this is not meant to be a place to promote race hatred. People and cultures are different, which makes things more interesting but also some times challenging. I have met some challenges in SA and written stuff here that I have almost deleted several times. It must be seen in the light of my anger at the time. I am not making excuses for what I have expressed here that people may take offence to, coz there is no excuse! I have also referred to other people's views as a matter of interest and not because I necessarily share them. I have a variety of races and different mixes represented in my group of friends. None lesser than the others because of race issues. Much rather I would promote anti racism, but MOST OF ALL I wish it was not an issue at all! Where the hell did light hearted go? As the owner and writer of this blog, I guess it's my responsibility what's posted and expressed here. Never imagined I could come in a squeeze like this. I might be convinced to hire an editor.

Anonymous said...

Jonny: From reading your blog I only experience a curious and questioning mind..no race hate at all...so, well done!
You say you have a good mix of different races in your circle of friends but I suppose true understanding of how disturbing these ideas might be to someone of colour can only come from closer relationships than friends and maybe sometimes only if you yourself are a person of colour and have born children that are of colour rather than white. When, like myself, you read racial hatred of the nature one finds on SAS and Johnjollyjack...one gets a cold shiver, not because it affects me directly (I have lived through this my entire life), I feel it more for my kids...they are the next generation and what is being written and expressed doesn't promise too many positive things for them!

Keep writing!


Jonny said...

Jimbo! You are right. I can only imagine as a white person. South Africa and large parts of Africa has a troublesome past and a challenging time ahead.

I don't know the exact reciepe, but believe that things will eventually get better. All the best for you and your children!

Anonymous said...

Jonny, I looked at your family's album and was quite surprised to find that you seem to be married to a person of colour! And your children are also not completely white...I retract my last statement regarding true understanding. I gather you must understand and fear for your non-white children too.

A2Z: I cannot be regarded as a 'bimbo' just for having an opinion. I thought 'bimbo' was reserved for females of the blond variety (I am neither). Please appreciate that if you can have an opinion and be heard, so can anyone else. My apologies, however, if I have labelled you a racist based on the blogs you seem to favour.

Best regards,

Anonymous said...

Dear A2Z and Jimbo,

Please try and avoid using this blog as a space to vent personal and racial hatred.

I agree with Jonny that this causes a type of tension that he has not intended in writing this blog.

Please take it from me (I live with him)...he writes controversially because he thinks controversially but none of it comes from a place where hate festers.

I love his writing especially because he puts another twist on things...it is refreshingly honest, even to the point of naivete at times. LOL!

This is why he is so popular (I think).

The Wife (who is 'of colour')

Anonymous said...

Hi Jonny!

When can you expect some fresh stories from you? Come on man, we miss your writing!


Jonny said...

Jimbo! Yes, I've got "latte" coloured children that I love immensely! I believe I got some understanding, but a huble Scandinavian that I am... I don't really brag about much :-) I do however care and involve myself because of the fact that I've got a "rainbow family"! So my doctorate in interracial studies was a breeze!!

As a source of inspiration you should know that unless you get fired over an SMS again soon... there is nothing much to write about! Honestly, it's been too hectic lately... I will prioritize my muse at home now though, so it should come to me again soon :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey Jonny,

Glad you have a muse at home...all great artists that produce the best work have a muse...you will no doubt produce some phenomenal pieces soon.

As for me giving you inspiration, I have, unfortunately for you, been employed by a reliable company in Scandinavia...this means life will be tryingly uneventful and boringly fair from now on.
Can't say I miss working for the South African companies though.