Blue eyed studs!

I’m a mutant! I read it in an article, and scientifically explained in the journal Human Genetics. My blue eyes came about through a mutation about 6-10.000 years ago. I can be classified and grouped safely together with The Teenage Ninja Turtles. The name mutant gives me the notion that I could be in the company of a lot of freaks with extra limbs and other unfortunate mutations out there, but is it really that bad? It did not give me any powers like Spiderman that I’ve discovered so far

Before this mutation took place, everybody had brown eyes apparently. Blue eyes appeared due to a genetic switch that turned down the amount of melanin in the iris. A complete Eskom switch off would have turned us into albinos. Nature stopped the process before it went that far, thank God… or evolution! Today apparently blue eyed people make up a good percentage of the European population. Even in an evolutionary time frame, there has been an explosion of blue eyes in Europe. The question arises; “How can this be?”

Hawk gives me a very satisfactory answer! “This gene does something good for people. It makes them have more kids!” Ok, we’re not making Australian rabbit like explosion with billions of people like in China and India. We don’t need 12 kids for disciples or pension aid. No doubt though, when we set our mind to it and hit the sack, more blue eyes will pop up! We’re the human studs – incredibly reproductive! Our sperm can outrun any competitor’s donations. So if you’re a woman struggling in this department, find yourself a blue eyed stud and consider the matter solved! I take it that Hawk is a member of the scientific crew, so there can be no doubt!

The Human Genetics article never gave any explanation as to what caused this mutation though. The second monkey theory should help explain it once and for all! As opposed to the African monkey which lived in abundance, the Stensby voortrekkers ended up in the much scarcer northern Africa and Middle East before getting to the tip of the Ice berg, Norway. The Old Norwegian tradition of taking surnames after the place of birth should be evidence enough. Stensby = stone + town, as between a rock and a hard place and very scarce. Obviously we were pushed, and had to develop more rapidly in order to survive. The good mutational conditions in Europe along with the genetic gearing resulted in us blue eyed studs! I don't know many blue eyed people with red hair, which means that we steered clear of the Neanderthals, which in turn means we're not overly kinky weirdoes either. Darwin would have put us on a pedestal if he knew, and I suspect that Hitler was on the brink of this discovery although in a different context!

TIA – This Is Africa

I was up unusually early this morning (yesterday), because I was too agitated and pissed off to sleep! I took a walk/jog to try and rid myself of some built up excess energy. As I walk under some trees that are hanging out over the street, something drops from the tree. From the side of my vision I could see this “something” dropping, but not really what it was. Whether it was a cone, a branch or a coconut… I was incredibly alert this morning and jumped aside in pure reflex. The curious George in me wanted to know what it was though. It blended into the grass and moved… long after it should have stopped rolling or bouncing. A snake! It was a tiny little green snake. Who knows what kind and how poisonous it could be, but it was a small footstep away from landing on my shoulder.
In Norway we have a poisonous adder. It’s the only poisonous snake around, and for some people it could be no worse than a bee sting. I know though, that juvenile snakes of the kind give everything in one bite… whilst the adult snakes learn to portion out their venom. Thus, it can be worse to meet an unruly youngster than a more impressive one size wise. Size is truly not everything… and this dropping, jumping, flying marine/ amphibian snake could hardly be more than 20-30cm long… and thin and puny. Was it a tiny unruly one, old and slow, dangerous or harmless kind??? I think I will retreat from the bush into a safe and secure library to find out one of these days…
My father in law once told me that they used to climb up in the trees to pluck mangos. High up there, they used to see small green snakes all the time… really poisonous ones I remember him saying. Was it to spice up the story or were they really that dangerous I wonder now? I was impressed though, enough to remember the story now at least. I’ve been on the farm and seen those huge mango trees... and can easily imagine myself up there with jumping snakes… I’m sure my snake was the same kind!

In my more than one year now in South Africa, and several vacations before, I have seen one dead snake on the road before this. That was in a bush area close to the Mozambiquan border and far away from civilization. I knew they where hiding somewhere, but never expected one to attack me from a tree like that… It would have been more likely in the deep African jungle, but not on the streets in Pretoria?! Last week I found a tiny little scorpion on our patio. Then you know that mom and dad must be somewhere around too. I imagined the kids stepping on one on the lawn, and threw it into the braai (barbeque) coals…

TIA I’m thinking – This Is Africa! But TIA has always been a way to explain stupid, bureaucratic, slow and inefficient stuff… All the time it’s been a humoristic way (for me at least!) to make an excuse for harmless but tiresome practices. Only when a snake attacks you from a tree does TIA sort of hit you right in the face. Then you realize that this is as TIA as you can get it in the developed South Africa. All the creeps and wild animals come with the package.
Did I sign up for all this when I left Norway a year ago? The Norwegian winter is bad enough, but no deadly bugs or reptiles can survive it. The cold wipes out that factor sort of and keeps it disinfected! Maybe there is something to Norway after all? Maybe my ancestors saw something that I’ve been too blind to see before today?! Maybe there was a good reason for that great trek after all?? How could my ancestors be so stupid - when I'm so smart after all?! It does not make sense of course! This must be the reason!! Imagine what other scary creatures they had in the Cradle of Humankind back then... a T-Rex Mamba or a Megaladon Bug that is yet to be discovered and excavated maybe? No wonder they jumped that pond and over to the European side!!

Another Ape - another trek Out of Africa

I went to a party the other day. One guy stood out from the crowd as loud and outspoken; let’s call him “Pablo”. He seemed to have opinions about most things. He had some theories that I found amusing and very interesting, and just the kinda stuff I enjoy... If his theory happens to be correct, I’ll have to revise my own “Out of Africa” theory, but what the hell. So I’ll try to quote some of his theories… hope I get it right! I should also add that there are no racial motives behind this theory… I believe!

Apparently, there is a difference between the black people and the other races in this country. The blacks were here from the early morning, and bred right out of the cradle – The Cradle of Humankind that is. They have found tons of evidence to confirm this. Mrs. Ples, Lucy and Littlefoot and lots of other unnamed apes (John Doe’s) and humanoids. These monkeys are our prehistoric forefathers, earlier stages in evolution, before they developed into humans like you and me. As the general scientific theories go, they are the forefathers to people in all continents. They spread out from South Africa to all the continents – almost like today’s island hopping in Greece, and like my forefathers on their great trek (http://stensbys.blogspot.com/2007/05/out-of-africa-great-trek.html).

Pablo’s theory though, reject that the same monkey made the great leap across the Mediterranean or the Suez Canal, and out of Africa. There was another ape that developed further north somewhere that crossed the rivers, ponds and lakes or whatever… and then spread out to inhabit the other continents. So, there was one monkey for Africa, and another one for the rest… So what? You’ve got two different monkeys to explain the nuances in skin colour?! The Stensby Ape’s trek was a bit shorter than earlier assumed (Coz I must assume that my ancestors was among Pablo’s lot), but still a lot more impressive than that of the voortrekkers. But there is more to it than that. When Jan Van Riebeck and the Dutch and later the Brits came to South Africa, they were technologically much more advanced than the native Africans that they met. A small difference could be random… but they were centuries apart in development! According to Pablo, there was no wheel even in Africa when the first colonizers started to nose about the African shores. How could this be if they were descendants of the same monkey?! So it’s proved then, that there was another monkey! Let’s just call it Pablo’s monkey to make things easy.

As Lucy, Mrs. Ples and Littlefoot grew up in abundance of food and resources, they were never pressured or challenged to find new ways. They were laid back and happy with things. Pablo’s monkey though developed further north. I can not remember exactly where… but whether it was Egypt, Middle East or Turkey… it was damn dry and far from the same abundance of flora and fauna. Why the hell did they end up there in the first place? My theory is that they were chased out by the other monkeys. Pablo’s monkey now had to be smart and creative to stay alive. Indeed it proved fit to survive also… so fit that the wheel was just around the corner. It’s like the Norwegian proverb: “Emergency teaches a naked woman to make clothes”! The significant difference back then was that Pablo’s monkey, unlike the laid back ones further south, developed the ability to plan from one day to the next. Pablo’s monkey also managed to overcome before insurmountable obstacles like crossing a river either by a raft or some kind of bridge. Mrs. Ples and Littlefoot were cut off by the Limpopo River, Zambezi and the Congo and thus stayed put, but did not care as they managed well in their abundance on this side. Not one single bridge, or a single structure like a log across the stream, has been found throughout Africa after the African monkeys. If it was really Mrs. Ples’s clan that chased Pablo’s monkey up north, then I owe her eternal gratitude. Then I will go to the Sterkfontein Caves once again to pay tribute. I guess I should not bear grudge against my forefathers either then (http://stensbys.blogspot.com/2007/05/out-of-africa-great-trek.html). I have to thank Pablo also, for putting my family’s evolution into a new and more favourable perspective. Now I can understand the reasons for ending up in the cold so far north. At the end of the day, I much prefer brains in the north to the alternative.

Whilst the smart apes migrated to Europe and other places, the other apes carried on in Africa at a slower development pace. So the technological development took different paths already hundreds and thousands of years ago. In light of the monkey story, it’s not so strange after all that the technological development was a few centuries behind in Africa. It certainly explains a few things that have been on my mind lately as well. Black people, at least some of them, are so laid back (like the ancestor ape) that they can hardly get out of the road in time to avoid cars on the highway! The Brits also went all the way to India to find proper working capacity on the cane fields, instead of using the (laid back/lazy) African tribes that was already here.

How can the whole nation (SA) pull together as one?:
Pablo went to Europe and was very impressed by the well functioning socialist European societies… especially the Scandinavian ones. This makes me proud of course being a Norwegian. Now we already established that there was a different breed of monkeys behind the “out of Africa” societies, but there is another explanation behind the socialist systems also. Europe was the scene of the Second World War. After everything was bombed to pieces there was a feeling of solidarity among people and they wanted to rebuild their countries. People helped each other and shared whatever they had at hand. 60 years after the war was over, you find societies where wealth is distributed fairly even throughout the whole population. Just that could be a goal for South Africa and many of the African countries to reach for, right?!

So what about South Africa then? Wasn’t Apartheid South Africa’s answer to Europe’s World War 2? Sure, for some, but only for one part of the population – the blacks. It’s a fight to claim back something rather than pulling together… It is admirable of course that this country came out of Apartheid without a civil war. But is that for the better really, or is it more like prolonging the pain? Maybe they NEED a war to get a new start with clean sheets? A civil war would probably not be a good solution anyway though… so they should find somebody outside their own borders to fight against. Then blacks, whites and Indians could have a common task to fight for or against... or whatever. It would mean pulling together at least. The only likely candidate I can think of at the moment is Zimbabwe… or Bob I mean of course! But then again - Mugabe and Mbeki are far too good friends for anything like that to happen!!

Out of Africa... some more after-effects

When I wrote about the trek Out of Africa lately, I was complaining about my ancestors. I was not quite done though, and feel that I can’t have this unsaid. They planted my genes up here… so bloody far north! We’ve got something called midnight sun up here. We cannot escape the sun no matter how the earth spins for part of the year. The sun is of course not a bad thing! The midnight sun is a very exciting phenomenon among tourists… What they failed to tell you about in the travel brochures though is the midday darkness the other half of the year. No matter where you look, the angle or the spin… you have no choice but to put up with total darkness! In the northern parts of Norway at this part of the year, people have to look very far to find any light… far into outer space to be exact. Seek and you will find they say… and we did find it! We call it Aurora Borealis, northern light or polar light. Now that’s a tourist attraction too! Can’t they see that it’s actually tragic though??!! I can only admire the Norwegian tourism industry though for making this into something worthy of a visit.

Just to give you an idea about Norway and sun… Svalbard, the island, also belongs to Norway. God forbid, we couldn’t just stop on the mainland. Although cold, Philip Pullman makes it sound like a fairy tale in his book; "The Golden Compass". Svalbard sees light for only half the year, and has in effect got only one sunset and one sunrise a year. That's Norway in a nutshell!

On the milk cartons in Norway they always give you some information about nutrition and some entertaining stuff. This is stuff that you read in a few seconds during your breakfast or lunch or whatever. It’s one of my last days before I go back to South Africa, and this morning I’m drinking my low fat milk… actually extra low on fat. 1,5%, but with added D-vitamins! I’m reading about the reason for the added D-vitamins! Us folks that live so far north are apparently unfortunate to live all the way up here (They said it, not me!). The sun transforms some stuff under our skin to D-vitamins. Because of the lack of sun-hours during winter, we have a deficiency of D-vitamins. I want all my vitamins, and now I’m even more pissed with my forefathers. I’m not even looking for the arguments, but find that people are exchanging them all the time, and in any possible medium… like the milk carton!! Amazingly, the Norwegian population is growing still... in the dark and cold and with all the vitamin deficiencies.

Still – on the 17th of May, the constitution day in Norway, people are waving their flags and sing about how much they love Norway (national anthem). Back here in South Africa now, I’m enjoying my own-brewed D-vitamins. I can almost feel them sizzling right under my skin under the African sun… and this is winter here!

Out of Africa - the first great trek!

I left South Africa for a little while recently for a short trip back home to Norway. I had the warm summer months behind me in South Africa and arriving after the long cold and dark winter months in Norway. In 2-3 weeks time I'll return to South Africa and a not so terrible African winter. The timing for me is perfect! Diving in South Africa in exchange for skiing in the cold is a good deal for me. As I jump off the plane in Norway though it's not the fresh and pleasant summer air that hits me. It's fresh by all means - damn cold!!

The following morning after I arrive in Norway, I wake up early. The grass outside is white! No snow, but frost. A couple of hundred meters further up the road I can still find some snow though. This is May. When I graduated from High School it was a custom... or more like a demand and a group pressure to have a swim in the lake before the 1st of May. That sounds pretty ridiculous and not very tempting right now. I did it back then... and a lot of other stupid stuff of course. I almost slip and cripple myself on the frosty and slippery stairs outside when I'm going to get the newspaper. I curse my own ancestors for settling down up here.A local character with a passion for nature, wildlife and geology has reconstructed a Mammoth. That's the kind of things that you find around here. The remains of the Mammoth was well kept and possible to rebuild. That can only happen at this latitude in ice or permanently frosted ground... so you can imagine what we have to deal with up here. They have put the Mammoth inside a big house now... can't leave it out in the cold of course. But why the hell did they have to travel so far north - my ancestors? They must have noticed how it was getting colder and colder further north, right?

I took my son for a stroll on a small road inside the woods here. We saw a hare that was in the process of changing from winter to summer fur. At first I thought it was a rock with some kind of white fungus growing on it. Then as the rock started jumping, I realized that the fungus was actually the ears that was still white and that the legs was also still white. The snow had evidently left only a short while ago. Later in the day as I walked downtown I noticed all the pale people! Natures way is truly incredible... they still had their full winter camouflage intact!
I went to Sterkfontein in South Africa recently, and the Cradle of Human Kind. If it's true what they claim, then South Africa is where the first humans set their foot. Mrs Ples and Littlefoot did at least. This was a long time ago of course. Probably back in the days when there was only one big super continent called the Pangea. The Pangea started splitting up and drift apart and became Africa and Europe and the rest like we know it today. The early humans started off in the south and obviously spread out across the one and only (still) continent. Then a few of them jumped over to Europe just in time for the European voyage. The same thing with the Americans and Asians. Australia was a different story - that was deportation and much much later!

Anyway, my theory is that all humans at this early stage was in fact black. Then as they jumped over to more appealing continents, nature helped them to adapt to their new neighborhoods. Obviously the northern settlers needed to blend in with the snow to sneak in on the animals. So nature bleached us, plain and simple. Charles Darwin forgot to mention this in his book; "Survival of the fittest". Pale as we are... we are fitter than most imaginable creatures up here in the ice and snow.

I can picture my own ancestors standing there on the northern edge of the African continent... around Egypt... some in Alger maybe. The gap to the other side was getting bigger, and they were forced to make a decision. Which side do they prefer? On the one side they had elephants, rhinos and springbok. On the other side they could see the mammoths, elks and deer. The elephants and rhinos were too scary... and the springboks too hard to catch. Except for the mammoth, it appeared to be a good trade. It was a moment of now or never... so they jumped over to the other side. A giant leap for man, a bigger one for mankind... and fatal for me! Neil Armstrong stole that line from my ancestors for his puny moonwalk. Proof of mankinds idiocy both. Well, on the bright side (back then - not now), the temperature must have been pleasant on the opposite shore of the Mediterranean stream/pond. The morons kept going and followed the animals into the snowy and icy mountains though, and settled down almost on top of a glacier. No bloody excuse for that!

I read this book recently about historys biggest blunders. My forefathers are not mentioned anywhere, although worthy of the first volume alone in my view. I mean, if they wanted a cool breeze and some occasional snow... couldn't they just climb up in the Drakensberg for a short while... or Mount Kenya... worst case Kilimanjaro??? No, they had to come all the way up here and sit down next to an eternal iceberg. In Norway we've got some rules for when you're walking in the mountains... and one goes; "it's never too late to turn back"!! I don't know if that applied back then... it should of course. Maybe the chief that was guiding his clan was just too bloody proud to do so... and didn't want to lose face. Considering that they came from the south, that is highly possible. I know a lot about "losing face cultures"! Not losing face brought me here... and through a Bangkok marathon!

The Boer people in South Africa made a "Great Trek" and called themselves voortrekkers, although it was a walk in the park compared to "our trek". My forfathers made a huge trek and a leap if that's anything to be proud of. My roots were planted up here... and now I have to deal with it. Slipping on the stairs is just one of the minor hazards around... although the mammoths are gone long time ago, domesticated or kept indoors - thank god(s). Now I've dealt with it though, and booked my ticket back to South Africa on May 20st.