Saturday, October 18, 2008

Inside A Black Hole

It’s scientifically proved that it statistically rains more in the weekends. The industrial smoke pipes builds up to a massive downpour on your days off. What doesn’t come down during the weekend is forwarded to Bergen. Mountains also push the warm air up and cause rain. The mountains around Bergen makes sure no rainclouds can escape, but is this the only explanation? What else then?

A black hole theory seems applicable, simply because Bergen IS a black hole. A common misunderstanding is that black holes pull all kinds of physical matter indiscreetly. This is of course nonsense. You have selective black holes (SBH) out there, and this one basically concentrating/specializing on H2O, water. Global rainclouds are drawn to and sucked into the black hole being Bergen (Norway). Scholars disagree on what actually happen to matter that is sucked into a black hole, or how a black hole appears from the inside. I have the questionable pleasure of finding myself in one, and can thus share the insight of my empirical findings so far with the outside world (outside the black hole). Bergen in black hole terms is a relatively young one. How exciting isn't it to follow a black hole all the way from its cradle to our grave…

Global streams (Gulf Stream) in the water and wind patterns are all centred on or caused by Bergen. Like when you pull out the plug in your bathtub, the water will go down the drain. Bergen is the global drain! All the water will a little by little end up in Bergen. Don't fool yourself into believing that this is just a hate speech by a hamarroid struggling to dry up. Melting icebergs at the poles is just one of the symptoms. As opposed to popular belief, and my own assumptions (I confess), the sea level will not rise. It will just end up in Bergen. This will have two extreme implications for life on earth - in Bergen or any other geographical whereabouts. The seas, lakes, rivers, streams and humidity in the air will be sucked dry. Since all living life requires water, everything will die out and turn into a global desert. Sounds familiar? It’s of course useless looking for water on Mars since the black hole there already completed its mission! NASA, wake up! So that's what the future has in store for us... if you're not living in Bergen that is.

In Bergen, it has the opposite effect! Some water is good, but too much is also not good. The Bergen flood is already well documented. You don’t need Nostradamus to predict this one. At this early stage it means that people are for the most part weather bound at home. Today, I had to take a rain check on an invitation to my favourite water-hole (Pub). Storming horizontally outside, I could not manage to open the front door. Trapped inside I’m terrified that the “sinking car” principle applies, and I have to wait until the house is filled (equal pressure inside and outside) with water before I can get out. Poor me, I sold my diving equipment before moving to South Africa… If I survive this one, I will invest in tanks and equipment for the whole family! It could sure come in handy now... or would it just prolong this rain of terror?

So, when the Bergen black hole has done its job, there will be a dead planet of sand and stone… and then a tiny little bubble (Bergen) compressed with water. Nobody really knows what happens inside that black hole. Compressed and compressed to a fraction the pressure will squeeze life out of even the deepest of Norwegian bottom dwellers. The people in Bergen can thus not depend on their own evolutionary speed to outperform the progress of the black hole. Some scientists suggest that a black hole must have a white hole to spew the compressed matter back out, and that this white hole may create conditions where new organic life can grow. Recycling basically! Norwegians and people from Bergen to be more specific, will in any event form the essence of new recycled life.

Although this demonstrates that Norwegians are the chosen people, it causes no wet dreams from my side.

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